Remember a couple chapters back how Jehu killed Jehoram of Israel and Ahaziah of Judah? Well, Ahaziah's mother, Athaliah, quickly kills the rest of the Judean royal family so that she can rule. But Joash*, the king's infant son, was hidden in a bedroom with his nurse. And there he stayed for six years!
Eventually, a priest named Jehoiada arranges for Joash to be transported to the Temple in secret and anoints him king of Judah. Athaliah is outraged by this, but then is quickly taken away by guards and executed. But, was this really such a great idea, Jehoiada? Did you think this all the way through? You just crowned a 7 year-old as king. He's only SEVEN (or in Fincher terms, Se7en)! And so far he's spent all of those years secluded in a closet! He probably doesn't have the best grasp of domestic and foreign issues.
Oh, but I see, Jehoiada acted like a puppet master, instructing Joash on how he should rule. However, later in life, he butts heads with the priest over the issue of repairing the Temple. The priests don't want to spend the money, so Joash gets more personally involved with overseeing the allocation of funds. Since, by this time, it has been at least a century since Solomon first built the Temple, it's understandable that the structure would be in need of some repairs. Good thinking, Joash.
Hazael of Aram makes another aggressive appearance, but Joash pays him off and the Aramean army leaves without incident. But then Joash's servants rebel and kill him. His son Amaziah assumes the throne. Amaziah. Now that's an amazing name!
Meanwhile, Jehu of Israel dies and his son Jehoahaz becomes king. More wars with Aram occur, and then he dies and is followed by his son Joash.** During his reign Elisha becomes seriously ill, so Joash has a pow-wow with the prophet. Elisha tells the king to do a bunch of funny stuff with a bow and arrow to symbolize what Israel will do to Aram. I'm not sure Elisha was all there at this point. He yells at Joash for striking the ground with arrows three times instead of five or six. Joash just better be glad Elisha didn't call some BEARS over.
So, Elisha dies and they bury the bald prophet. During an unrelated funeral, some passing marauders throw the deceased into Elisha's grave. When the corpse touched the bones of Elisha, it came back to life! So, even when he's dead, Elisha can bring people back to life? Maybe he could've tried to bring himself back to life, too? I'm sure there were many more bratty kids in those days that needed to be eaten by BEARS!
Back to Judah. Amaziah becomes king and immediately kills the servants that killed his father Joash (you figure out which Joash it is this time. This is giving me a headache). He had some victories over the nation of Edom, got high on hubris, and challanged Israel to some battling. King Joash (gah!) dismissed the notion, implying he'd squash Judah and Amaziah should just go away. But Amaziah pressed the issue, and summarily had his butt handed to him by Israel. Then folks conspired against Amaziah, killed him, and made his sixteen year-old son Azariah*** king. Guess Amaziah wasn't all that amazing, was he? Zing! Anyway, Azariah was stricken with leprosy and his son Jotham ruled in his stead until Azariah died and Jotham became king for real.
Israel time. Joash (gah!) dies and his son Jeroboam (double gah!) becomes king. Okay, yet again, this is a different Jeroboam than we've had previously, but they were both kings of the northern kingdom of Israel. So we'll call this guy Jeroboam II (Jerry II). Interesting tidbit: during the time of Jerry II we get the prophets Amos, Hosea, and Jonah, though only Jonah is briefly mentioned. Jerry II dies and the crown passes to his son Zechariah.
More political intrigue! Zechariah rules for six months before he's killed by a conspiracy led by Shallum. But he only reigns for a single month until another dude, Menahem, kills him! Menahem becomes king and attacks the town of Tiphsah, resorting to such savageries as ripping "open all the pregnant women in it" (15:16). Menahem eventually dies and is followed by his son Pekahiah. But a captain, Pekah, launches a conspiracy and kills Pekahiah and becomes king. Then the Assyrians attack! A large chunk of the population is captured and exiled to Assyria. Pekah is then killed by Hoshea, who assumes the throne. Israel is a very politically unstable place.
Confused yet?
*Another way to spell Joash is "Jehoash." The biblical authors use both spellings interchangeably. Way to make this even more confusing!
**Are you kidding me?! I used to think biblical names were all unique and weird, but when you actually read through the thing you find they're as common as Bob, John, or Bort. And NO! this isn't the same Joash we just covered, it's a different one. This is Joash of Israel, not Joash of Judah. However, the same note about the spelling still applies. Wonderful.
***Azariah is also called Uzziah and, of course, the two names are used interchangeably. If you're not aware of this, the story gets even more confusing, if you can believe that!
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